The Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.
- by Babylon BeeU.S. — Local man Richard Manfred was arrested today after failing to give attention to a matter despite President Trump thanking him for his attention to the matter.
- by Babylon BeeHOLLYWOOD — Studio executives have been utterly baffled by the massive success of a movie made to entertain people.
- by Babylon BeeAre you entering middle age and finding that you just don't have the energy you used to? Do you wish you could regain your youthful vigor, but haven't found anything that works?
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The Onion
- by The Onion StaffINDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance at Coachella, pop star Sabrina Carpenter reportedly turned her body fully inside out Friday in a horrific new position for her song “Juno.” “Have you ever tried this one?” the singer said in an uncharacteristically cold, distorted voice, lowering herself to the stage and contorting […]
- by The Onion StaffWASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday, delivering a big fuck-you to all the Americans who gassed up their vehicles yesterday. “Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the […]
- by The Onion StaffGetting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be as specific as possible when describing which Zootopia character you want to look like. Tell your stylist what you want and, more importantly, what you’re willing to do to their family if you don’t get it. […]
- by The Onion StaffLOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current that binds the universe together, Lena Dunham claimed Friday that Adam Driver used the Force on the set of the HBO series Girls. “It can really create a toxic work environment when a coworker you thought was your friend suddenly begins shooting lightning out of […]
- by The Onion StaffTMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights on politicians. What do you think? The post TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau appeared first on The Onion.
Genesius Times
We strive to provide the most up-to-date, accurate fake news on the Internet. Our team of journalists, hacks, and starving writers only want one thing: to make you laugh and/or cry.
- by Exavier SaskagoochieWASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that surprised absolutely no one paying attention, Rep…. The post BREAKING: Eric Swalwell resigns from Congress for stuff he totally didn’t do appeared first on Genesius Times.
- Swalwell Transitions to Black Woman, Prompting Immediate Dismissal of All Sexual Assault Allegationsby Exavier SaskagoochieWASHINGTON — Facing mounting calls to drop out of the California gubernatorial race after four… The post Swalwell Transitions to Black Woman, Prompting Immediate Dismissal of All Sexual Assault Allegations appeared first on Genesius Times.
- by Exavier SaskagoochieWashington, D.C. — In a development that has sent mild ripples through the Democratic Party’s… The post BREAKING: Kamala Harris ‘Seriously Thinking About’ Losing Again in 2028 appeared first on Genesius Times.
- by Exavier SaskagoochieCanadian activist group Identititarian Linguists Lithograph (ILL) have published a book containing the latest, most… The post Canada reveals new fully-inclusive LGBTQ+ acronym with 8 billion characters appeared first on Genesius Times.
- by Exavier SaskagoochieJerusalem, April 10 — In a stark intelligence briefing delivered to President Donald Trump’s incoming… The post BREAKING: Israel warns Trump that Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are 2 weeks away from developing nuclear weapon appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Duffel Blog:
Duffel Blog is a parody of a news organization, and all content it publishes is satirical in nature.
- by Paul J. O’LearySenior leaders say morality must remain flexible
- by Medal of DishonorPentagon says surge in interest ‘not an official line of effort’
- by Duffel Blog StaffOfficials say track captures ‘classic early-2000s invasion energy’
- by Red FridayOfficials say outcome was ‘statistically unlikely given participating agencies’
- by Bernard ButtersquashPentagon confirms operation continues to move ‘forward’
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Dispatches from the Asylum
We point out hypocrisy, expose know-it-all’s, and lampoon those who take advantage of others through hypocrisy, lying, or keeping the truth from the average citizen.
We try to do so with satire, sarcasm and humor. This is a satirical site, most of the time, anytime.
- by Decker*** Strike Up the Band – Thilo Wolf Big Band *** Wynton Marsalis = Jazz At Lincoln Center Orchestra – Blues Walk *** NatContinue reading
- by Decker*** “Americans need to understand that they have lost their country. The rest of the world needs to recognize that Washington is not merely theContinue reading
- by Decker*** Looks like the Agent of Destruction is getting bored with all the havoc, killings and mayhem he’s brought to the Middle East, and nowContinue reading
- by Decker*** It’s so hard to keep friends when you’re a psychotic terrorist. Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni is no longer on Donald Trump’s good sideContinue reading
- by Decker*** Trump Announces Blockade of Strait of Hormuz by Kyle Anzalone | Apr 12, 2026 – libertarianinstitute.org President Donald Trump announced on Truth Social that the United StatesContinue reading
ClickHole
- by clickholeadminWhen Grandma entered her chrysalis three years ago, everyone thought she would come out looking completely different. We all got super excited to see what…
- by clickholeadminAll good businesses adapt and evolve with changing times, and one of America’s most iconic chains just announced a major policy update that’s going to…
- by clickholeadminSome websites monetize their content with paywalls, while others rely on mandatory ad clicks or different subscription tiers. One website, however, refuses to play the…
- by clickholeadminIf you’ve been wondering why there’s extra pep in your step, it’s probably the attention you’ve been stirring up every time you sign onto Google…
- by clickholeadminLook, I trust my wife with my life, but every time I’m asked to list an emergency contact on insurance paperwork or when leaving for…
Bohiney News
- by Fátima MamdaniSurvey Finds 84% of Female Football Reporters “Somehow Ended Up at Brunch” With Sources The… The post Female Football Reporters at Brunch with Sources appeared first on Bohiney News.
- by Isabella CruzEurope Has ED: A Continent-Wide Performance Problem That No Amount of Summit Hosting Can Fix… The post Europe has ED: Erectile Disfunction appeared first on Bohiney News.
- by Anneliese KrügerEurope Discovers It Has a Navy (Theoretically): Starmer and Macron Announce Bold Plan to Protect… The post Starmer and Macron’s Plan to Protect the Strait of Hormuz appeared first on Bohiney News.
- by Coed CherryEurope Is Building a NATO Backup Plan and It’s the Most European Thing to Happen… The post Europe Is Building a NATO Backup Plan appeared first on Bohiney News.
- by Helga MüllerAllbirds Becoming an “AI Compute Provider” WICHITA FALLS, TX — In a move that has… The post Allbirds Business Model appeared first on Bohiney News.
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Hard Times
- by Nick BrandtAUSTIN, Texas — Tesla Inc. is reportedly manufacturing their vehicles to drive intentionally in motorists’ field-of-view blind spots, confirmed frustrated sources. “Listen,… Get the full story The post Tesla Programmed To Drive Exactly in Your Blind Spot appeared first on HARDTIMES.
- by Tim SheardIf you’re reading this, we know you’re just as much of a fan of sucking, fucking, and stroking as we are, so… Get the full story The post We Sat Down With Porn Enthusiast Mike Johnson To See What He and His Son Have Been Jacking off to Lately appeared first on HARDTIMES.
- by Matthew MichelettiBARSTOW, Calif. — Metallica fans across the nation are feeling the pinch of the Trump economy and are having to choose between… Read the full masterpiece The post Metallica Fans Now Choosing Between Fuel, Fire, and That Which They Desire Due to Trump Economy appeared first on HARDTIMES.
- by Dan RiceWASHINGTON — In light of mounting pressure from several global conflicts, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth led top Pentagon officials in prayer… Read the full masterpiece The post Hegseth Prays for Blessing From Boondock Saints appeared first on HARDTIMES.
- by Kevin CoutuPORTLAND, Ore. — Local mother Erin Walsh sat her young son down for a quiet, heartfelt conversation about growing up and gently… Read the full masterpiece The post Mom Gently Explains to Son Tooth Fairy Is Just Metaphor for How State Extracts Value From Your Body appeared first on HARDTIMES.
DAILY SOAK
- by Daily Soak StaffWASHINGTON — While getting fiercely grilled by Democrat Congressmembers during his first oversight hearing, Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. responded to concerns about his qualifications by removing his shirt and power-slamming a Democratic congressman through a witness table. The dramatic demonstration occurred after a Democrat Representative angrily pressed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on […]
- by Daily Soak StaffNEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK—Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced that he has hired former President Joe Biden as senior advisor for New York City’s first government-owned socialist grocery store, citing Biden’s historic, unparalleled success in clearing out American supermarket aisles. During a press conference outside the 40,000-square-foot facility where the new grocery store was set to […]
- by Daily Soak StaffU.S. — With the April 15 tax deadline looming, millions of Americans spent the final hours of Tax Day frantically filling out their tax returns and claiming Ukraine, Somalis, Israel, and illegal aliens as dependents and whoever else appears to be on the national tab as dependents. Tax experts confirmed that while the IRS does […]
- by Daily Soak StaffLONDON, UK — Prime Minister Keir Starmer has called for an urgent independent investigation into the Prime Minister’s handling of the United Kingdom, citing a growing list of avoidable difficulties that require serious scrutiny. Speaking outside Downing Street, PM Keir Starmer said the decision was necessary to restore public confidence in the Prime Minister, who […]
- by Daily Soak StaffWASHINGTON—Citing a desperate need for clarity in the medical field, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Tuesday mandating that every physician in the United States immediately abandon lab coats, scrubs, and surgical gowns in favor of a flowing white robe and bright red sash, coming coincidentally after the President faced backlash over a now-deleted […]
The Betoota Advocate
- by Errol ParkerERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | ContactIt's Friday drinks down at a Betoota Heights printing supply business and for one junior employee, it means observing the elders drink themselves silly while they enjoy a few Coke Zeros and an early bus home.Account manager Alana Mulholland doesn't really
- by Wendell HusseyWENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACTPrince Harry and Meghan have today wasted no time in getting about their work. Kicking off the Sydney leg of their Australian tour, Harry and Meg have already become part of a run club less than half an hour an after arriving
- by Errol ParkerERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | ContactA Betoota Ponds-based artist known only as BrokenCuck has this week become the subject of intense national scrutiny after listeners discovered he apparently just makes music, completely unprompted, with no discernible connection to anyone.The 19-year-old, whose genre has been described variously as horrorcore, emo rap,
- by Errol ParkerERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | ContactAustralians have been urged not to panic about the ongoing collapse of domestic aviation, with spokespeople from every level of government confirming this week that trains do exist in this country and always have."We have trains," said one spokesperson. "Lovely trains. They
- by Wendell HusseyKEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA mate who follows way too many gym models on Instagram is being torn to shreds this afternoon, as he makes some bold claims at the pub.Meeting up with four mates from his footy club for some afternoon schooners, forever
The Beaverton
- by Tyrus KentWASHINGTON D.C. – In his efforts to remake the U.S. national centre for the performing arts in his own image, President Donald Trump has revealed that the Kennedy Center’s final production before closing for renovations will be to act as the venue for this year’s ceremony honouring the porn industry’s best and tightest. “It’s gonna […]
- by Derek SchultzQUEEN’S PARK – Salt-of-the-earth Ontarian Premier Doug Ford acknowledged that the province had made the ultimate sacrifice of getting him a used private jet for the discounted price of just $28.9 million. The province considered several options for this obviously non-negotiable form of transport, according to sources willing to speak for the notoriously-bashful Premier. “We […]
- by Luke Gordon Field“If you have ever thought anything about anything, you have a place in the Liberal Party.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) talk about the Liberals’ by-election victories, Carney obtaining near total power, and Trump’s fight with DAAAAA Pope. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the best/worst idea […]
- by Evan KlimWINNIPEG – Local crisis workers have sent 32-year-old Ronald Alexander to Victoria General Hospital for psychological tests following disturbing reports that he has “never put money down on a single sporting event” and how he, more concerningly, “likes to watch sports for fun.” News of Ronald’s fandom has shocked those close to him, as many […]
- by Janel ComeauWASHINGTON, DC – As rising tensions in the Persian Gulf bring renewed fears of rising oil prices, US Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has reassured the nation that all US soldiers deployed to the region will be equipped with state-of-the-art silencers to avoid waking sleeping markets. “We went to Iran to do one thing: win,” […]
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